This week.
Was a good week.

Omg you know how people spell out a word over the phone like, “A as in apple,” well my mom just said “U as in unicorn” bwahaha love her.

Everything is so much easier when you just don’t care.

Am I not the perfect girl to you?

Omg. He said, “Cayla why are you so pretty.” And I replied with “What?” although I had clearly heard him.

Today

Today I found someone who understands me. My pain, internal struggles, confusion. I can’t even begin to explain how good it feels to have someone who shares the same problems and is experiencing the same situation as me. I just

I’m not quiet. I’m just too lazy to project my voice.

Allow me to just say, I seriously. can’t. even.

Spring break this week was going swell so far until tonight.

My aunt in China called my mom and told her the news… my grandpa has lung cancer.

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I’m literally shaking right now.

Meanwhile I didn’t know about this when they were talking since I was rereading the deathly hallows in the living room, and I only realized something was wrong when my mom slammed her laptop on the table and locked herself in the bedroom.

My dad told me and I went to check on my mom but I heard her crying.

I now realize that one of the most horrible sounds in the world is the sound of one of your parents crying.

And I can’t do anything because she locked the door.

I feel so helpless and lost and just… lway;dksgncmx,gzgweosi;dl zkgxvnzmcnbzohmygod.

I already lost my grandma to cancer, and now my grandpa too?

…….I think I’m just gonna try to lose myself in Harry Potter, for the moment at least.

“We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken us a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox.”

         — The Notebook

I actually like this quote but I don’t believe that only the old are able to treasure silence. I’m always content when I’m with certain people even if we’re not saying anything, but I can’t help but feel that they take it as an “awkward silence.” I wish they felt the same way as me.